How to Learn to Love People Where They Are At
Wow, just wow. Okay 2020, you came at us hard, I mean really HARD! People were starting their new years with thoughts of a clean slate and new vision boards, then BAM! Covid-19 is all over the news, then countries as whole stared shutting down, states by states were shutting down and then the stay at home order happened. First it was 2 weeks, then extended to a month and then extended again and again.
During this time, we had to learn a new norm, staying at home with our love ones or deciding to quarantine with a “bae.” During this pandemic of the unknown, more things came to light, such as racism and inhumane deaths, protesting and riots. It’s overwhelming. A lot to take in, a lot to fear not only for our health, but for the human race. Through this, people’s true colors have shown through, I’m not here to judge anyone, I’m still learning myself about the safety of Covid 19 and our history for the human race. Social media is an outlet for news, friends and family to keep in touch, but lately I’ve been seeing it used to hide behind a keyboard talking a lot of shit.
I’m not going to lie; it bothers me a lot. Yes, I believe in freedom of speech, but some of the things I’ve seen lately have been disturbing. These people are not just strangers but your own friends and family. I’m feeling torn on the direction I’m trying to go, but I think it’s important to learn how to find balance in our perspectives.
The last year and especially the last month, I’ve been learning how to find peace within myself, my heart and my mind. I’ve been learning to love people where they are at, when it especially comes to family and friends. I find at times I’m disappointed in my own actions as well as theirs. No one is perfect, but we should strive to learn to be better. Here are some tips to help you love people where they are at:
They are not you
No one is the same body, mind or soul. Each person is different and that is okay. People have different beliefs such as culture, spirituality, political views and even on how to love. Reflect for a second, what was their upbringing or childhood like? Some things are learned behaviors. How likely are they to be willing to learn or change?
Social Media
First, reflect on yourself. How are you using your platform? Remember, what you post is public to your family and friends. The feedback will come whether it’s good or bad. Everyone has the right to post their opinions on their own timeline, however you need to understand that not everyone will agree and will voice their opinion back good or bad. Yes it’s your timeline, yes we can keep strolling, yes it’s freedom of speech but remember you put it out there so you have to be able to receive comments back whether you like it or not. If it’s really affecting you maybe you need a break from social media to regain your peace.
Protecting your peace
Ask yourself, what does peace look like to me? Is it worth my peace to be disrupted? What am I doing to protect my peace? Self care is very important, because it makes you conscious of what your body and mind needs to be happy. Somethings you can do are rest, light a candle and meditate or daydream, journal your thoughts and feelings, read a book, learn something new, exercise, take yourself out on a date and start doing things you love. A healthier you is a happier you, a healthier and happier you is able to make sounded decision for yourself and others you care for.
What I mean by the statement, “learning to love people” is to understand that you don’t have to love them the way you want to, but rather it’s to love them where they are at in their lives right now? People will have to do their own work, to improve themselves on their time not yours. You will be disappointed, but they might not be in the same space as you. Learn to let go and let them grow on their own time.
My mother and I don’t have a great relationship. She was born and raised in Laos and I was born here in the United States. Culturally showing affection is like showing sighs of weakness. My mother was never affectionate growing up and still to this day. When I was younger, I could not understand it, I was so mad at her. I had resentment for her and what I found is that I’m the one upset and angry all the time. It was a learned behavior; she was never taught how to be affectionate or got affection from her own parents.
I did some reflection back, the way mother showed affection was by providing for us, teaching us life survival skills and making our favorite dish to eat. If I think for a second my mother is going to change and start giving me hugs and kisses, I will always be in a world of disappointment. I had to understand she is who she is and I can either never talk to her for the rest of our lives or just love her for who she is and where she is at. Same thing with friendships, you might have been really close at some point in your life and maybe you decided to elevate and the other person is content with their life and you guys don’t see eye to eye anymore,
it’s okay to let go and love each other from a far. Remember, we are not going to agree on everything in life, we have to power to decide who stays with us and who gets left behind. People come into your life for a purpose, reason and season. Let go of the hate, anger, disappointment and continue to work on yourself. Do not waste energy on things that doesn’t serve your purpose or make you happy. The power is yours to protect your peace.
Shifting your mindset and setting goals for yourself will help you elevate. Everyday you wake up is a new opportunity for you to learn and follow your passion with purpose. If you want to work with me visit www.cyndibrush.com and schedule a free consultation and let’s get started. You have to power to change.