How To Stop Throwing "Poor Me" Pity Parties
…It’s pour me a drink. It doesn't matter if you are male or female. Being human is being human. Everyone has a bad day or several, everyone has been hurt and everyone has been sad. We easily mind fuck ourselves to stay negative and have the “poor me” moments.
- Grieve and learn to let go.
If you lost someone, whether it’s in a relationship or a death of a love one. Allow yourself to grieve. The worst you can do is prolong the process and make it harder for yourself to move on. Give yourself that moment to grieve and then pick yourself up and say, “Stop it!” I went through the all the grieving process, there was days I didn’t want to get up. Who doesn’t want to wallow in our sorrows? There are no right or wrong ways or even secrets to healing, you just have to do it. Everyone kept telling within time you will heal and I kept getting pissed off, because when you are going through the grieve no one, not one person can give you advice or tell you anything. Your mind messes with you and your heart is broken, thing are not that clear… it really isn’t. Then the time passes and it just clicks and this is what you should do…
- Learn to love yourself
In relationships and corporate America, you tend to lose yourself and mode into the person you think or “they” want you to become. Take the time to figure out who you are and what you like and don't like. Make yourself a priority. You put your work first, your family first, your lover first or your kids first. Damn it when is it your time. No one is going to give you permission or tell you to take time for yourself, but you. Love yourself, when you do, you will be the best you and will give the love that you are capable of. Enjoy the time you have to yourself because you might not have this time again. Humans naturally wants to be cuffed up (in a relationship), in reality you have to get over one before getting into another relationship. As for me I’m working on it daily. I will no longer worry about what people think of me, I will be “doing me” all day. Know your worth and if it doesn’t serve you purpose then it’s not for you. Remember, confidence is sexy as hell for guys and girls. “Heyyyy, Sexy Bitch!!”
- Find your spirituality and look for signs
Religion gives you hope. I’m not saying you need to go to the temple or church to believe. I believe everyone has some sort of spirituality within them and it has to be on your time. When I went through my grieving process, I felt so lost, I didn’t know what to do. I thought I had my life figured out and I got thrown a curve ball. I ran to the Buddhist temple and I spoke to a monk there. He told me, “You need to take care of yourself. You need to find clarity in your heart and soul. If things were meant to be it will come together and if they are not it will show.”I prayed a lot because I didn’t know what else to do. I started to see signs. I stop ignoring things and started to understand and seeing things for what they were (signs). I’m not saying you need religion in your life, I’m saying you need to give yourself hope and understand the process. It’s not easy, you just have to believe. Speak your intentions out loud.